Humor Jawa


Pak De mlaku-mlaku karo bojone neng Ginza Jepang. Wis jam 2 awan durung mangan, mesti ngelih tenan.
“Buk, ngelih rak?”, jare Pak De.
“Iyo to yo, wetengku wis keroncongan je”
“Wah, nek ono restoran Padang mesti uenak iki.”
“Iyo, mesti cepet merga ora perlu kudu pesen barang.”
“Wah, kae ono restoran. Sing nyuguhke robot.”
“Ho’o yo, nek robot mesti nyuguhkene cepet.”
Pak De lungguh adep-adepan karo bojone..
Robot teko, nyedhaki Pak De, banjur ngomong:
“What is your nationality?”, robot takon.
“Indonesia” jare Pak De.
“Selamat datang”, jare robot nganggo bahasa Indonesia.
“Apa bahasa suku anda?”, robot takon meneh.
“Jawa”, jare Pak De
“Sugeng siang. Badhé pesen nopo?”, jare robot nganggo boso Jowo.
“Canggih ya Bu”, jare Pak De.
“Ono lotek?”, ibune takon karo robot.
“Onten.”
“Pesen rong porsi.”
“Porsi agéng nopo alit?
“Porsi gede.”
“Lombokipun pinten?”
“Sing siji loro, sing siji sepuluh.”
“Ngagem kangkung?”
“Yo.”
“Ngagem timun?”
“Yo.”
“Ngagem kol?”
“Yo.”
“Ngagem kol Taiwan nopo kol asli Jepang?”
“Sing endi wae lah manut,” Pak De wis rodo nesu.
“Kacangipun badhé diuleg nopo diblender?”
“Kuarepmu!”
“Kacangipun setengah mateng nopo mateng?”
“Goréng sing garing!”
“Ngagem bawang goréng mboten?”
“Nganggo, asu!” Pak De misuh banter banget.
“Badhé ngagem piring nopo pincuk?”
“Piring!!!”
“Lenganipun ngagem margarin nopo minyak klopo?”
“Jelantah, wedus!!!”
Nesu banget soale wis sepuluh menit dewe..
Robot meneng, lampune byar pet ketap-ketip koyone baru diproses.
Kiro-kiro telung menitan, roboté ngomong meneh:
“Maturnuwun. Pesenan sampun dipun tampi. Nanging mboten saged dipun suguhaken.”
“Ladhalah? Aku wis ngenteni suwe banget jé, tanya-jawab karo kowe, kok rak iso ki piye?”
“Amargi segawon kaliyan jelantah weduse dereng wonten………..”
“Iso edan aku! Ayo Buk, lungo, ra usah nguntal nang kene!!!”. . .

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